Step 68 - Tenacity and Acceptance  "No, you can't always get what you want / No, you can't always get what you want / But if you try sometime, you just might find / You get what you need"  Jagger/Richards 1969.

I woke up with the words and music from the Rolling Stones 1969 hit in my head this morning.  Not my favourite band but this song I really like and the words are particularly apt for me today.  Who knew when I was shaking my 12 year old self to the music in 1969 they would, 30 years later, become an inspiration to accept that trying and trying the same thing that is not working means accepting what I want and what I need are two different things.

Sounds simple when I write it out - of course what we want and what we need are not the always the same, but sometimes we don't know what it is we need and keep going after what we want.  That tends to lead to frustration, negativity and away from inner contentment, peace and happiness.

I have long struggled with an inner conflict that flips between my security is in the home I own to own nothing, owe nothing.  As a single mum providing a safe and secure home (in my mind owning that home) has been essential.  However, my journey owning real estate has been based on very unrealistic financial stability and the struggle to keep it all going has been terrifying sometimes.  I have spent way too many hours figuring out how to" rob peter to pay paul" just to stay afloat on a month to month basis. Those hours were unproductive and did not bring me closer to security or anything like happiness. 

Accepting that what I need is a safe place to live, not a safe place to own has been a sobering lesson. Truth to tell I struggle with self talk around failing to provide for my family.  Those are historical messages that have no value and no place in the actual and amazing security I provide for my family.  The fact that I now can put into practise sound financial plans to create my "want" at a later stage is also freeing.

Letting those historical messages go has created time opportunities for me to put into more creative and practical endeavours which are more inwardly and outwardly satisfying.

The worlds message, the family message, the message from a school principle or some other person in authority is oftentimes the message that we listen to that informs us about what we want.  But like the snake oil salesman, it can deceive.  The message takes us to what we think we want and away from what it is we need.  That is what will fulfill us and make us happy.

There are many anecdotal stories from men and women who have led successful lives only to find that actual joy and fulfullment comes after a crisis or life changing experience.  New horizons open up, creative, social justice and humanitarian ventures replace and replenish their earlier stated wants and beliefs.

Exercise 68

Reflect on any messages that you are still listening to that don't feel authentic to you.  Or, consider something that you keep trying to do that keeps not working out.  Why and what are those messages/activities important and are they based on need or want.  Can you think about them or try them differently - not harder. 

Write out the message or activity and what the opposite message or action is.  Consider how it would feel to do it or think about it differently.  Make a list of the positives for both and choose if it falls into want or need.  Write out what steps or adjustments you choose to take.


Creating a realistic budget and savings plan
Supporting a friend through a recent loss
Continuing to feel healthy and eating wheat and gluten free
Not becoming obsessed with weight loss being stalled
Writing and seeing small increments of income through hub pages - click here for more informatin about writing for hub pages


Working through the process of acceptance
Creating too many projects and deciding which ones to let go of
Not enough physical exercise - hence the weight loss stall!

Namas Day

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